Platypus/dialogue
Baby platypus *'Platypus': Chirrup-chirrup snuffle honk squeeeee? (What are we doing today? Huh? Huh?) *'Player': Well, what do you want to do? *'Platypus': Honk! (Oo, can we do some trigonometry together? Or maybe we could discuss the philosophical implications of postmodernism?) *'Player': Um, you're a platypus. A *baby* platypus. Don't you want to burrow in soft earth and splash about in big, muddy puddles? *'Platypus': Chirrup-honk! (That sounds good too! What a perfect environment in which to discuss the viscosity and other physical principles that describe the world around us! Where's the mud?) *'Player': Uh...right over here. Mud galore. Just follow me... Adult platypus Conversation 1 *'Player': So what would you like to do today? *'Platypus': Snoofle-snort sniff. (Not knowing, and having no adequate means of ascertaining for a certainty...) *'Player': Yeah? *'Platypus': Chirrup-chirrup-chee... (...and for fear of prevaricating, or in some form deviating from the paths of rectitude, which have always characterised the generalities of my remarks...) *'Player': Uh-huh... *'Platypus': Woof. (...I'd hesitate to say.) *'Player': You mean, you don't know? *'Platypus': *Cough*. (Correct.) *'Player': You know, you could've just said so in the first place! Conversation 2 *'Platypus': Sniffle snuffle churrup-sneeze? (So, it occurred to me... Might I suggest that we hunt for a nice, hollow log inside which we could take a little snooze?) *'Player': Um...that doesn't sound like the most comfy spot for a rest to me. *'Platypus': Chirrup-snuff? Sniff? (Well, how about a nice, irriguous burrow? Or a large aggregation of frowsty vegetation?) *'Player': You want to nap in a pile of rotting leaves? *'Platypus': Brrrip-chirrup! Chirrup! ('Frowsty'! I said 'frowsty'!) *'Player': Sorry, you're still not selling it to me. Conversation 3 *'Platypus': Chirrup-chirrup snuffle BARK! (Nice day for a stroll, isn't it?) *'Player': Um, excuse me, did you just...bark? *'Platypus': Chim chim chiree. (I may have done. Is it really necessary to make personal comments?) *'Player': Oh, no, it's not necessary; it's just fun. *'Platypus': Chirp! (Maybe I'd get more respect around here if I wore my monocle more often!) *'Player': Oh, I'm sure you'd get more of *something*! *'Platypus': Grr.. (Hmph. Philistine.) Conversation 4 *'Platypus': Chirrup sniffle-snuff? (So, have you read anything interesting lately? A good novel? A historical tome? Winsome love letters?) *'Player': Oh, and what business is that of yours, nosy? *'Platypus': Chirrup-chirrup sniff! (I think you'll find that I have a beak, not a nose, sir!) *'Player': Oo, looks like somebody has their pedantic hat on today! *'Platypus': Brrip-squee? (Do you mean 'pedantic' in the pejorative sense or 'pedantic' in the Shakespearean sense?) *'Player': Whichever makes you most happy, beaky. *'Platypus': Brup. (Well, it makes a difference. And don't call me 'beaky'.) Conversation 5 If you talk to you Platypus while holding smouldering lavender, you will have the following conversation: *'Platypus': Chirrup-chirrup? (Oo, is that aromatic lavender I smell?) *'Player': Why yes! Nice, isn't it? *'Platypus': Sniffle snuffle. (Ah, such a fragrant aroma. I'll tell you a secret - if your burrow ever smells a bit, well, whiffy, a sprig of lavender fixes everything!) *'Platypus': Sniffle-squee! (Nothing says 'home' like a monocle rack, a decanter of port, and some lavender potpourri!) *'Player': Well, I'll certainly keep that in mind if I ever have to, um, unstinkify a burrow!